FAQ it!
Frequently Asked Questions about Tej
I’ve worked on teams where everyone creates a “user guide to me.” It is a document that describes how you work, what you expect, and quirks you have that should not be taken personally. For example, mine said “If I am fidgeting in a meeting, I need to use the restroom.”
I recently reached out to a leader I respect for management advice, and she reminded me of our user guides. I am publicly posting this FAQ for my team and all of you to hold me accountable. Also, I think my potty jokes are funny.
To make this less about me, I reached out to my LinkedIn network for questions. I try to address some of those below.
What is your name?
You might think this is the easiest question. It is not. Welcome to my world.
I sent the following email to my colleagues when I started my job:
“Hi Team, some of you write my name on official communication and I’d like to keep it standard with government databases. When using only my first name, please write “Tej.” When using my first and last name together, please write “Tejpaul Bhatia.” (“Tej Bhatia” is a veterinarian in Vancouver). Thanks.”
There is a story behind this rubric.
Where are you from?
I am from New York. I was born in Manhattan, raised on Long Island, educated in Morningside Heights, and live with my wife and son near Hudson Yards.
But is that the answer you expected? As most second-generation Americans and people of color know, this answer is often followed by “No, where are you really from?”
I really want to respond “Faq you! I said I am from New York.” But I don’t. Instead, I say “My parents emigrated from India to become Americans. I was born in New York.”
How do you feel?
Given that I need to explain my name, nationality, and ethnicity every time I meet someone, I feel a lot of things. But you can’t tell by looking at me.
For better or for worse, I almost always keep calm, even if there is a typhoon outside or one brewing inside. It is a blessing and a curse.
How do you like to work?
I love working and I love living, especially when I am activated and safe. This makes work-life balance challenging as I don’t see it as zero-sum.
Psychological safety is the most important factor for me to love work. Work needs to be psychologically safe for me and for everyone I work with. Psychological safety means I can be me, you can be you, and we can be us. It allows us to take risks, learn from our mistakes, and celebrate our victories. I won’t settle for less.
Working at Google taught me that psychological safety allows me to do my best work.
Leaving Google taught me even more.
How do you relax?
Some might say I don’t know how to relax. But I still try hard.
Vince Lombardi said, “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.” Although I know this to be true, I’ve been knocked down enough times that I know I don’t like it. I’ve also been knocked out badly and I know I need to recover before getting back on the field.
In my experience, recovery is the most important element of resiliency. I try to recover whenever I can. Sometimes I take micro moments to recover. Other times I’ll take a long weekend off with my family. And I try to take a real vacation once per year for at least two weeks.
In all cases, enjoyment is the objective and presence is the metric.
What do you value?
My personal values are:
- relationships (measured by my feeling of belonging)
- curiosity (measured by my feeling of growth)
- enjoyment (measured by my feeling of presence)
- uniqueness (measured by my feeling of creativity)
When I am activated and thriving, I exhibit authentic and intentional behavior that is engaged and connected with the people I am with. It includes active listening, eye contact, energetic ideating, self-awareness, and awareness of others and surroundings.
When I am afraid and surviving, I feel lonely, exhausted, and encumbered in self-doubt. This results in irritated, reactive behavior. It starts with disengagement and leads to negativity. I try to observe my mind in these moments and aim to get back to my core instincts quickly.
What do you value in a team?
The best teams I’ve worked on always intentionally tried to be the best team. These teams have respectful and direct communication, while maintaining strong opinions that are loosely held by a team of impeccable professionals (aka “beasts”). There is always a lot of laughter, fun, and genuine love for one another. I want every team I am on to be the best team I’ve ever worked with.
What do you expect from your team?
- Honesty, reliability, integrity, and consistency
- Reasons not excuses
- Accountability not blame
- Judgment not interpretation
- Capability to say, “I don’t know” and “I need help” early and often
How do you like to lead?
I am a work in progress, especially when it comes to leadership. I attended a seminar last year and made a commitment to become a better leader. I also made a commitment to be a more romantic husband. I am working on both.
The foundation of my leadership style is that I am your manager and I work for you. My job is to remove blockers and provide resources so you can be successful. This will make the team and the company successful.
A colleague once asked me to write down my leadership philosophy. Two months later I wrote a poem instead. Hopefully this post provides more detail.
How do you like to manage?
I take people management very seriously and wish others did too. If you manage people, your primary job is as a people manager. If you think otherwise, I recommend looking into individual contributor roles, which are amazing because people management is really hard.
I try to meet with my direct reports 1:1 weekly and my entire team monthly.
My 1:1 agenda is:
- I need: this is when you tell me what you need so I can provide resources and remove blockers effectively
- I need you to know: this is when you tell me what I need to know so we can both do our jobs better, without surprises or embarrassment
- I want: this is up to you and is harder than you’d think. I’ll help if I can. Regardless, I want to know what you want
- I think: this is when we discuss how to work better as a pair, team, organization, company, industry, and species
- I feel: this is our chance to be human
Who were your best and worst bosses?
I would take a bullet for the best bosses I have worked for. I also know that these bosses would never let me be in front of the gun.
I’ve also worked for horrible bosses who threw me under the bus for the slightest personal gain.
I need to work on less violent analogies when it comes to bosses. I became an entrepreneur because I thought I wanted to be my own boss. My mind was the worst boss I’ve ever had.
What triggers you?
The words: can’t, no, and impossible.
When someone says, “I can’t,” all I hear from them is “I won’t”
When someone says, “No,” all I feel is motivation to try harder.
When someone says, “That’s impossible,” all I think to myself is “watch me”
Impossible is a belief. Belief is a choice. Choose what you believe.
What energizes you?
People with ideas.
What depletes you?
Liars and name droppers.
What is your superpower?
I get what I want. It is never easy. The hardest part is knowing what I want.
Why are you fidgeting?
I need to pee.
What are your hobbies?
Running with friends and writing.
What kind of music do you like?
What are your favorite Wordle words?
What is the title of your autobiography?
Angels and Astronauts (that is as far as I’ve gotten)
Why is this all about you?
That is kind of the point of this FAQ.
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